5 In-the-Moment Ways I Regulate My Nervous System

Regulating in the moment when emotions hit hard, anxiety spikes, or my nervous system goes into overdrive isn’t always easy, but over time, I’ve found some tools that really help. These aren’t magic fixes, but they are practices I come back to again and again when I need to ground, soothe, or just slow things down. I’m sharing five of my go-to regulation tools in hopes they might offer you some ease, too.

What Does "Regulating" Even Mean?

Regulating your nervous system is a vital skill that allows you to manage stress, emotions, and physical reactions in a way that promotes overall well-being. Essentially, it involves bringing your body’s autonomic nervous system, which controls vital functions like heart rate, digestion, and stress response, into balance or back into your "window of tolerance". When we're faced with stress or challenging situations, our bodies can enter a state of heightened alertness (the "fight or flight" or sympathetic response) and can become so overwhelmed. Regulating your nervous system means being able to shift from these states back to a calm, balanced one (the "rest and digest" state or parasympathetic), helping you respond thoughtfully.

The process of regulation involves various techniques that help you reconnect with your body and emotions. These methods can reduce the intensity of emotional reactions and allow you to stay present in the moment, whether you're dealing with anxiety, anger, or overwhelm. Over time, these practices can help you build resilience and create a sense of safety within yourself, leading to improved mental and physical health.

My Go-To Nervous System Regulation Tools

Make it RAIN

One of my most reliable practices is the RAIN method, developed by Tara Brach. It stands for Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and Nurture. When difficult emotions come up, I start by recognizing what I’m feeling, allowing the emotion to be there without judgment, gently investigating what’s happening in my body or thoughts, and then offering myself some kind of nurturing response like kind words or simply placing a hand over my heart and taking a breath. It’s a simple yet profound practice of self-compassion that can create space when things feel tight or overwhelming. You can read more about the RAIN method here.

“The deepest transformations in our lives come down to something very simple: We learn to respond, not react, to what is going on inside us.”

― Tara Brach, Radical Compassion: Learning to Love Yourself and Your World with the Practice of RAIN

5-4-3-2-1 Grounding

Another technique I use often, especially when I feel ungrounded or dissociated, is the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique, which was created by Betty Alice Erickson. It’s a sensory-based way to reorient to the present moment by naming five things I can see, four I can touch, three I can hear, two I can smell, and one I can taste. This pulls my focus back into the here and now and gives my nervous system a moment to reset. It’s especially helpful in public or social situations where I can’t do something more elaborate. You can read more about this method here.

Belly Breathing

I also rely on belly or diaphragmatic breathing, especially in moments of stress. The key is making the exhale longer than the inhale. I’ll breathe deeply into my belly for a count of four to six, then slowly exhale to a count of seven or eight. This helps stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system and reminds my body it’s safe. Even a few rounds can be regulating. You can learn more about this kind of diaphragmatic breathing here.

Physical Grounding

Sometimes, what I need most is physical grounding. That might mean pressing my feet firmly into the floor, feeling the weight of my body in a chair, wrapping myself in a blanket, or stretching to release tension. I might even go for a short walk or shake out my hands and arms. These simple actions bring me back to myself and help me feel more regulated in my body. Or try any of these other grounding techniques to find what works best for you.

Safe Space Visualization

Finally, I find it helpful to use safe place visualization. This involves imagining a calming, secure place, real or imagined, where I feel grounded and at ease (mine’s at Summit Park in Victoria, BC!). I focus on the sights, sounds, textures, and even smells of this space, letting it soothe my nervous system and bring a sense of safety into the present moment. Here’s a meditation I sometimes use when practicing this visualization: Safe Space Visualization by Paula Huggins on Insight Timer.

Practice Over Perfection

Managing your nervous system doesn't need to be complicated or perfect. It's about having a few strategies available when times are tough and developing the ability to approach yourself with care during those moments. The aim is to become aware of your internal state and learn to respond with kindness and compassion.

By building a set of tools that work for you and practicing them regularly, you establish a relationship with these methods, making them instinctive when you need them most. This approach forms a supportive framework that helps you handle life's challenges with more ease. I genuinely hope that one or more of these practices resonates with you and offers a useful starting point for your journey toward better self-regulation and emotional resilience.